from-debris asked: I don't want to start anything but I just would like you to stop hating on those that are cis-gendered. you generalize all of us and seem to hate based off of that, which makes you no better than those who hate on other sexual orientations or genders. I am a female biologically, as in I have breasts and a vagina, and I also identify with that mentally. and I get that there are people out there who don't and thats fine and I don't judge them. you're allowed to feel and be attracted to whatever-
"cont: you want. it’s obvious to me that you feel oppressed and discriminated against and that’s obviously not fair or right, but saying that all cis-gendered people are oppressive and discriminating isn’t fair either. i don’t think that there is any singular and correct way to live life when it comes to this kind of stuff and it’s frustrating that I’m seen as an enemy rather than an ally to those fighting for equality because of how I identify. it’s about choice, and everyone should have it."
So, first off, there’s a problem here. And that problem is the “not all ___ are like that” statement. When someone says a group is oppressive, the point is to make everyone think about what those oppressive things are that are happening. And if a person belonging to that oppressive group really isn’t EVER doing ANY of them, that’s great.
But it seems to me like that person would then turn around and go “Wow, I didn’t realize people were so shitty, what can I do to help stop this?”
For example, I’m a dude. So, if woman friends of mine say, “Man, dudes always do this shitty thing.” I go, “Wow, that sucks - how can I make sure I never do that, and how can I stop other dudes from doing it?”
Now, you don’t have to have that reaction. You could just ignore trans* people being upset. But, you taking the time to write this message instead of researching, for example, when the use of the word “biologically” is offensive, or even asking me why, is a red flag.
Second, I have never made a post saying “all” cispeople do something. My posts are about instances of transphobia and cissexism that cispeople perpetuate. All cispeople? No. Most? Sadly, yes. I have cisfriends (kind of hard not to - they’re everywhere), and they’re generally pretty great at not doing those things. And I could be cis - you don’t know whether I am or not. (eg. I also make posts about how dudes and white people suck, even though I am both of those things. Because I want to remind myself hot to NOT be a part of the problems in those groups.)
It’s also not “about a choice”. You didn’t choose to be cis, and trans* people didn’t choose to be trans*. And people don’t choose their race or ethnicity or sexuality or gender, either. If you want to be an ally, that’s probably important to understand. No one is fighting for “freedom of choice” (not in this argument, at least). We are fighting for decent human rights and protections, for all humans. (No matter how they are NOT no matter what they choose.)
You can choose to try to change people’s minds instead of worrying about people not seeing what a good ally you are. Trans* people can’t choose to not be ignored, misidentified, neglected and/or abused.
My problem is with transphobic and cissexist mentalities, opinions, actions, and social structures. People can choose to care about and try to change those things, or not. But prioritizing preventing trans*people from speaking out about oppression over helping them is transphobic.
Because it’s telling oppressed people to shut up so that the “good” people in the oppressive group don’t have to feel bad.
It’s placing individual comfort over incredibly high violence, death, suicide, abuse, lack-of-healthcare, etc. rates.
And that’s the underlying cause of almost every instance of oppression throughout history.
P.S. I know you probably meant well, but please don’t tell me or anyone else “they’re allowed” to be attracted to anything or feel a certain way. No one needs anyone else’s permission to have feelings.
These days, my friends aren’t who they used to be. We were all sinners and drunks… Through these cynical, old, bitter eyes, the future’s hard to see. These songs do not mean half as much as they should do to me.